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Lost Opportunities...
Oct. 12th, 2006 11:17 amI wasn't sure if I wanted to write about this... but then I complain to myself that I never write anything of personal signifigance in my journal. So, here goes.
For months now I've been planning to go to Phillidelphia for the first weekend in November to attend my brother's (half brother through my birthmother, Sandy) wedding. Sandy has been updating me about wedding plans and when I should be arriving and leaving to ensure that I attend all related functions.
I was planning to make all my travel arrangements after I got back from my recent work trip, and Joe got back from his vacation. Tuesday night Joe and I were talking about the trip again and I was confused on a couple of the early details. I e-mailed Sandy to confirm details, and almost as an after thought I mentioned in the email that I hadn't received an invitation yet. I was expecting that they were just running really late or something.
Sandy called me late Wednesday afternoon and opened the conversation with "I've got good and bad news for you. The good news is that you get to save a lot of money." It turns out that TJ and his fiancee blew their budget on inviting her large greek family, so they had to cut the list. I explained to Sandy that I was looking forward to seeing them all at the wedding, and that I had intentially not planned a side trip to see them when I was in Florida because I was thinking I would see them in November. She apologized. I then just felt the need to end the call, so I told her that I would digest this information and talk to here someother time.
I am a bit hurt. I had really liked the thought that they were going to invite me to their wedding. I was also looking forward to this trip as an opportunity to build on our relationships.
Being adopted, I have very little connection to my birth family. I first met Sandy, her husband Jamie, and my half brother TJ in 2000 after a private investigator finally managed to track her down. A year later I made another trip down to their Florida home for Christmas, and in 2003 I attached a trip to see them onto my exhisting work trip to Orlando. Since then I've managed to have phone conversations with Sandy every few months, but we haven't gone down there again, and Sandy hasn't come up to Minnesota, though she's been invited.
I wish I was more outgoing with my family relationships.
I like Sandy and her family, but I'm struggling to find common ground to build our relationship on. I didn't grow up with them. We don't have that shorthand that most families share. I'm effectively a stranger to them. It's events like weddings that help to bring the family together, and assist with (re)building family connections.
Well, I guess this opportunity is lost. I'm disappointed by this.
And... there is a little nagging part of me that is suspecting that they didn't want to have the openly gay couple there. I'm trying not to listen to this part of me.
For months now I've been planning to go to Phillidelphia for the first weekend in November to attend my brother's (half brother through my birthmother, Sandy) wedding. Sandy has been updating me about wedding plans and when I should be arriving and leaving to ensure that I attend all related functions.
I was planning to make all my travel arrangements after I got back from my recent work trip, and Joe got back from his vacation. Tuesday night Joe and I were talking about the trip again and I was confused on a couple of the early details. I e-mailed Sandy to confirm details, and almost as an after thought I mentioned in the email that I hadn't received an invitation yet. I was expecting that they were just running really late or something.
Sandy called me late Wednesday afternoon and opened the conversation with "I've got good and bad news for you. The good news is that you get to save a lot of money." It turns out that TJ and his fiancee blew their budget on inviting her large greek family, so they had to cut the list. I explained to Sandy that I was looking forward to seeing them all at the wedding, and that I had intentially not planned a side trip to see them when I was in Florida because I was thinking I would see them in November. She apologized. I then just felt the need to end the call, so I told her that I would digest this information and talk to here someother time.
I am a bit hurt. I had really liked the thought that they were going to invite me to their wedding. I was also looking forward to this trip as an opportunity to build on our relationships.
Being adopted, I have very little connection to my birth family. I first met Sandy, her husband Jamie, and my half brother TJ in 2000 after a private investigator finally managed to track her down. A year later I made another trip down to their Florida home for Christmas, and in 2003 I attached a trip to see them onto my exhisting work trip to Orlando. Since then I've managed to have phone conversations with Sandy every few months, but we haven't gone down there again, and Sandy hasn't come up to Minnesota, though she's been invited.
I wish I was more outgoing with my family relationships.
I like Sandy and her family, but I'm struggling to find common ground to build our relationship on. I didn't grow up with them. We don't have that shorthand that most families share. I'm effectively a stranger to them. It's events like weddings that help to bring the family together, and assist with (re)building family connections.
Well, I guess this opportunity is lost. I'm disappointed by this.
And... there is a little nagging part of me that is suspecting that they didn't want to have the openly gay couple there. I'm trying not to listen to this part of me.
